For weeks I've been thinking about who would be the "Premier Person". Who should be the first person to start off the-blog-about-you-project, this project highlighting people that have made an impact in my life? The answer has suddenly become very clear. When I think back, look through my notes, pull open the file cabinets in my head, I can find no one that has had a greater impact on me than a little girl named Sarah.
From the moment she became a part of me, I was instantly transformed into a strong, smart, ferocious, life-making, protecting Super-Woman who was resourceful, confident, capable and willing and able to do anything! Well, it wasn't exactly instantly but very quickly. Sarah has helped me become who I am in ways I can never explain to all of you, to her, or even to myself. The feature piece that follows is not exactly an essay or profile, but it is a story of how, through Sarah's birth, I was born. Thank you, Sarah. You are amazing, and this next leg of your journey will be almost as amazing as you.
Parenting By Numbers, Number 1 By: Myrna I Brown-Kainth
Waiting and nervous, scared and alone, 1 plastic stick in my hand
1 sad little smile and 2 little lines: it’s you, there you are.
Worried and scared, alone, always crying like hell
2 little hiccups in my right side, it’s you, there you are
I’ll be strong, for you I have to, don’t worry, I’m here,
It’s your mom, I’m your friend. We talk late at night, together, alone.
Working and sick, not sure how to hide it, I must keep this job
I’m getting too bumpish, and a little too sick:
But my boss doesn’t care, because it’s you, there you are.
1 little room, a bed for me, 1 for you, a lamp and chair, I’ll sing to you there
Still waiting nervous, scared ½ to death, nothing to fear, it’s you, you are here.
1 fall night, 2 little pains, grow in intensity,
It’s you once again, now knocking the door
I can’t do this; it hurts, I’m not tough enough. Someone please kill me, just make the pain end
Push?! I can’t, hurts way too much. 2 really big pushes: It’s you; you are here!
HALLELUJAH! You’re here. I can’t believe that it’s real. Now it’s me and it’s you.
I feed you, and love you, and think you’re all mine. We rock in that chair, singing and breathing at night
2 little eyes, blue little gems, fat little fingers, sweet, all 10. You grow, I am yours. There you are!
You’re so smart, but with fear, a little ole lady before your 6th year.
You go into school, all smiles and shy, it’s you growing up. Now it’s begun. Here we are.
The teachers’ favorite, each year. I sneak by the windows, watching you grow,
From here I’ll protect you, you won’t even know.
You look, see me there, 1 flash of those eyes says, “It’s you, go away”
Those 2 little lines have grown into you. Now I look in the mirror, it’s you; there you are.
So many dreams I carry in you, I happily send them to capable hands
The 1 room, with a bed for me, 1 for you, replaced with a world full of strangers, all yours
The window’s too high. I just can’t see in, looking to see, is it you? Where have you been?
Such a short time creating someone to love, but we do it, over and over in fear not regret
Making such a beautiful gift, not for me, it’s for you – here you are – it is you!
Looking down at the road, seeing you off, I see 2 long lines marking your start
This is the way your journey began, over again, 2 little lines, 1 sad smile, it’s you – there you go!