Parenting By Numbers

For weeks I've been thinking about who would be the "Premier Person". Who should be the first person to start off the-blog-about-you-project, this project highlighting people that have made an impact in my life? The answer has suddenly become very clear.  When I think back, look through my notes, pull open the file cabinets in my head, I can find no one that has had a greater impact on me than a little girl named Sarah. 

From the moment she became a part of me, I was instantly transformed into a strong, smart, ferocious, life-making, protecting Super-Woman who was resourceful, confident, capable and willing and able to do anything!  Well, it wasn't exactly instantly but very quickly.  Sarah has helped me become who I am in ways I can never explain to all of you, to her, or even to myself.  The feature piece that follows is not exactly an essay or profile, but it is a story of how, through Sarah's birth, I was born.  Thank you, Sarah. You are amazing, and this next leg of your journey will be almost as amazing as you.

Parenting By Numbers, Number 1
By: Myrna I Brown-Kainth

Waiting and nervous, scared and alone, 1 plastic stick in my hand

1 sad little smile and 2 little lines: it’s you, there you are.

Worried and scared, alone, always crying like hell

2 little hiccups in my right side, it’s you, there you are

I’ll be strong, for you I have to, don’t worry, I’m here,

It’s your mom, I’m your friend. We talk late at night, together, alone.

Working and sick, not sure how to hide it, I must keep this job

I’m getting too bumpish, and a little too sick:

But my boss doesn’t care, because it’s you, there you are.

1 little room, a bed for me, 1 for you, a lamp and chair, I’ll sing to you there

Still waiting nervous, scared ½ to death, nothing to fear, it’s you, you are here.

1 fall night, 2 little pains, grow in intensity,

It’s you once again, now knocking the door

I can’t do this; it hurts, I’m not tough enough. Someone please kill me, just make the pain end

Push?! I can’t, hurts way too much. 2 really big pushes: It’s you; you are here!

HALLELUJAH! You’re here. I can’t believe that it’s real. Now it’s me and it’s you.

I feed you, and love you, and think you’re all mine. We rock in that chair, singing and breathing at night

2 little eyes, blue little gems, fat little fingers, sweet, all 10. You grow, I am yours. There you are!

You’re so smart, but with fear, a little ole lady before your 6th year.

You go into school, all smiles and shy, it’s you growing up. Now it’s begun. Here we are.

The teachers’ favorite, each year. I sneak by the windows, watching you grow,

From here I’ll protect you, you won’t even know.

You look, see me there, 1 flash of those eyes says, “It’s you, go away”

Those 2 little lines have grown into you. Now I look in the mirror, it’s you; there you are.

So many dreams I carry in you, I happily send them to capable hands

The 1 room, with a bed for me, 1 for you, replaced with a world full of strangers, all yours

The window’s too high. I just can’t see in, looking to see, is it you? Where have you been?

Such a short time creating someone to love, but we do it, over and over in fear not regret

Making such a beautiful gift, not for me, it’s for you – here you are – it is you!

Looking down at the road, seeing you off, I see 2 long lines marking your start

This is the way your journey began, over again, 2 little lines, 1 sad smile, it’s you – there you go!